Your story, my story, our story

Robyn’s story

I understand that you need to do things in a certain way but I sometimes think you don’t care how your routines affect me.

You don’t have to get up at 6 o’clock every morning but still you do. I don’t have to get up until 7.30 but no one can sleep on once you are up. I know everything you do from 6.05 am onwards. I know how long each part of the getting washed, getting dressed, getting everything ready takes and how do I know? Because I hear every tap going on, every toilet flushed, every wardrobe door open and close, every drawer. I have asked you to be quieter and I know you don’t make noise deliberately to wake me or annoy me but sometimes I don’t think you try hard enough.

Your routine is more precious to you than I am. I have had to give in and change my way of doing things – again. I am fed up with having to be the one to change all the time. I am furious at how unfair it is. I am letting myself get worked up at you always getting your way.
 I am going to make a stand. Then I remember what I am always told – you can’t help it and I know you can’t so now I feel guilty. It is so easy to feel low.

Blair’s story

My routines are something I must do, so I don’t know why you think they are more important to me than you are. If I do one thing differently I have to go back to the beginning again to make sure everything is done properly or the whole day will go wrong.

I don’t see why my routines are so bad for everyone else – it is only me who does them. I do my best to be quiet but I can’t change the noise the shower makes. That is out of my control and my routines help me keep control of myself and my day.

My routines are something I must do, so I don’t know why you think they are more important to me than you are. My routines are separate from the people in my life – they are two different things. I am not sure why you think it is unfair and that I am being treated better than you are.

I do not choose to follow my routines - I am locked into them.
 It is not that my routines come first before anyone else’s needs – my routines are a part of who I am and how I live. I do not want you to be upset by my routines. It is easy for me to feel down if you are upset.

Robyn and Blair’s story

We both have things to think about to work this out. We can both make small changes so everyone is comfortable and not becoming stressed and getting all grumpy.

If at least one of us can understand what the other’s life is like then we can reach an understanding. One of us is unable to change and that has to be accepted by the other. Both of us can make an effort to think of ways to respect and to show kindness to each other and so a way of working and living together will slowly grow.

We have each other and each of us is a better person because of that. We are lucky.