Your story, my story, our story

Yvonne’s story

I find it hard when I have friends over.

They seem like strangers intruding your comfort zone. You must remember that you come first, you are my brother. My friends will understand how you feel – talk to them.

I haven’t forgotten that you come first and it is your home too. You have to try and get along with people I bring to the house.

I should put you, my brother, before my friends and think of your needs but it is my house too. I feel bad always going to other friends’ houses and not taking my turn. I want my friends to come and see my room and play my music and watch DVDs with me.

Most importantly I don’t want to feel guilty at asking you to put up with my friends once in a while.

Mike’s story

My safe place is our house – the safest place of all.

It is the only place where I can be completely relaxed and be myself and not feel bad about it - not feel bad about the things I do and the way I am.
 
 I don’t like it when people I don’t know come into my house. People I don’t know upset me, they stare at me, they ask me questions I don’t know the answers to. They touch things, move things, make noise that I am not used to. I don’t know what they are going to do next and this makes me feel scared. I might lose my temper and it will be their entire fault but you will blame me and then Mum and Dad will get into it and everything will just be a mess.

I know it is your house too but when you have friends over I am unhappy.

Yvonne and Mike’s story

We can work at this. We can work out what my friends will be doing when they are in our house so that you will still be able to be relaxed.

We can agree when they will come and when they will leave so that you will not be surprised by them. We can agree where in the house we will be and how loud any music will be.

We can make sure my friends know how important it is that your stuff is left alone and nothing is moved or touched.

Talking is good if it is comfortable to do so.

Talking even a little allows us to get to know each other and each other’s friends better. We can work at this too. We are brother and sister. We are important to each other. We have people who love us and can help us work this out.