Your story, my story, our story

Robyn’s story

My big day – I have been looking forward to it for such a long time. It has been so nice feeling the excitement build up as the preparations have got underway. Lots of lovely feelings – my day!

Everyone will want me to enjoy every minute of me being in the spotlight. But will you? You are my brother and you don’t mean to spoil things for me but this is what has happened so many times before. You don’t like days that are different. You don’t like surprises or when we change plans in the middle of things but I don’t like feeling bad or feeling guilty about having all the attention for once. I don’t like feeling I am being unreasonable for everyone to put me and my feelings first before your needs. I don’t like these feelings that things are unfair – I know that everyone wants to be fair but can’t be, just can’t be! I want to enjoy my day. I want it to be a day free of frustration and guilt. I want it to be a day where we are not all walking on eggshells, watching and waiting for you to be overwhelmed. I want you to enjoy my day too and not feel threatened.

Be happy for me. Let’s enjoy my day together.

Blair’s story

I don’t understand why my day has to change.

I am happy for you to have a special day but why does my day have to be affected? Why can’t my day just be the same? Why can’t everyone do what they usually do except maybe you because it is your special day?

It sounds selfish, I know, but I need my routine to be able to cope.  It really upsets me when I begin to feel that panic rising in me, that feeling that I am going to lose control. I hate it when I see people looking at me when I begin to start my tapping and rocking and all the little inexplicable behaviours I fall into when I am feeling stressed. You know I am not good with change, with noise, with unpredictable things happening. Everyone knows I need things to always stay the same. Inside me I don’t want it to be like that. I live with frustration and guilt every day too. It must be nice not to be trapped. It must be nice to be able to go places you have never been before or to do things you have never done before. It must be nice to have a special day.

I want to try to enjoy your big day.

Robyn and Blair’s story

We can both enjoy this special day. It will be different from our usual pattern so it will be hard but we can discuss what will take place at each part of the day so no one is walking on eggshells wondering what is going to happen next.

We can work out together what might be upsetting for each of us and try to arrange things so that those upsetting things don’t happen. We can have a safety net plan so if anyone feels stressed or feels as if things may be going out of his or her control we will all know exactly what to do to get everything back on track. We can try our hardest to make sure everyone has the best day and making that effort for each other is a good thing in itself.

Together we will make a day of good memories for everyone.